A Remake I’d Like to See

It is an oft-repeated complaint that Hollywood is out of original ideas. This should come as no surprise, as there have been no new story ideas since we as a species first started writing things down. That said, the people working in Los Angeles have made some really questionable choices in recent years when it came to what classic films to remake. So let me help.

Listen up, Hollywood: You want to know what movie is in desperate need of a remake, and would require little new thinking on your part? Well, I’ll tell you:


It’s been 25 years.  It’s time.

The story is perfectly fine. You could simply pay the writers their fee and use the same script. No need to rewrite, it’s a period piece — you don’t have to update the slang or jokes.

One thing you need to do differently this time is the music. The one common complaint I hear from (and share with) fans of this movie is that its soundtrack is atrocious, a complete mismatch to the film. Don’t repeat this mistake: get a timeless score from Brian Tyler or David Arnold.

Casting? It’s not that difficult. Daniel Craig as Captain Etienne Navarre; Charlize Theron as Isabeau d’Anjou; and Shia LaBeouf as Phillipe Gaston.

Okay, there. I’ve done the hard part for you, Hollywood. Now go get to work. And try not to screw it up.

2 Responses to “A Remake I’d Like to See”

  1. Thierry

    Good idea, revive the epic tale !
    By the way the problem Hollywood has, in not a lack of good story to tell…
    (they can easily adapt scifi books that are just waiting for it, yours too, but think Christopher Priest, think Frederik Pohl Frank Herbert or soooo many other that have told great stories that are still sold long after their death)
    It’s just that they produces only “pre-digested” story that they are sure are going to get them their money back. After Years of watching movies
    I can tell that Hollywood is producing a script only if it fits one of those underneath. (or a mix of…)

    “The Ugly Duckling” –> About half of the stories are a metaphor of this fairy tale about a young not at all happy, often rejected, but in the end he will save the day etc… etc..

    “Alice in Wonderland”
    a variant on the previous subject but still kind of the same

    “King arthur legend or The savior that dies in the end for his cause” it works for most religions so why not in movies? It’s always easier to expect others to do the job rather than to take our own hands dirty. and this kind of movies are just about that.

    Ohh i forgot the “biography” (always the same story with different interpretations)

    Can you think about any movie that doesn’t fit one of this profile ? !lol!

  2. David Mack

    I think you’re probably right about what motivates Hollywood to do a remake. The only other criterion that I think plays a major role is name recognition. The powers that be in Los Angeles like to make movies based on TV shows that were once popular and still have high nostalgia value.

    That said, I still think a faithful remake of Ladyhawke by a good director (such as, say, Ridley Scott or Steven Soderbergh) would be an excellent idea.

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