Archive for the ‘Memes’ Category

My “Next Big Thing”

This is a writer-to-writer meme that’s been making the rounds lately. It’s basically a chain of book and author promotions. One author tags five others, who then each tag five others. The idea is that we all help people out there learn about all the good stuff that’s just out or coming soon.  Whether it actually works, who knows?

Anyway, I was tagged with this opportunity by fellow author Jeff Mariotte (who long ago was also my editor on the Star Trek: Divided We Fall comic-book miniseries I cowrote with John J. Ordover), so here goes.

The “Next Big Thing” self-interview consists of 10 questions:

1. What is the working title of your next book?
My next book to hit shelves is Star Trek: The Next Generation – Cold Equations, Book III: The Body Electric. It arrives in bookstores both brick and virtual next Wednesday, December 26, 2012.

2. Where did the idea come from for the book?
I wanted to craft an epic, “big idea” sci-fi story for the Enterprise-E crew to face. As a kid, I loved the novels and short stories of Ray Bradbury, Arthur C. Clark, and Isaac Asimov, and I wanted something that captured the same sense of scope and grandeur one finds in those writers’ classic works.

3. What genre does your book fall under?
The Body Electric is a space-opera-style science-fiction thriller.

4. What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?
Most of the roles are already spoken-for, since it’s a media tie-in novel. But there are some new faces among the Enterprise-E crew. I think Kristin Kreuk would be a great choice to play Lieutenant T’ryssa Chen; science officer Lieutenant Dina Elfiki could be played by Minka Kelly; and new security chief Lieutenant Aneta Šmrhová should be played by the Czech actress after whom she was named.

5. What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?
A planet-sized Machine is hurling entire star systems into a supermassive black hole at the center of our galaxy, and unless the Enterprise crew stops it, it will unleash a cataclysm that will destroy all life and civilizations in the Milky Way.

6. Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
The book was represented by my agent, Lucienne Diver of The Knight Agency, and it is being published by Simon & Schuster, the official licensed publisher of Star Trek fiction.

7. How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?
Approximately two months.

8. What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
As presumptuous as this might sound, I would dare to compare it to Clarke’s seminal Rendezvous With Rama.

9. Who or what inspired you to write this book?
I was asked by my publisher to concoct a new epic-scale trilogy of Star Trek novels, and this apocalyptic-style fever dream was what I came up with.

10. What else about the book might pique the readers’ interest?
Let’s just say that more than one long-lost fan-favorite character is returned to the Star Trek literary universe by this novel.

I’m not going to “tag” anyone to do this next, since I’m not always sure who’s in need of promotional time.  But any authors who’d like to jump on this bandwagon as it rolls on by are welcome to leave comments with links to their respective blogs’ posts on this topic. So go on, writer-folk: Tell us about your “next big thing,” and feel free to post a link to your self-interview in the comments section.

More Mendacious Misadventures

The march of the memes continues on Facebook. Two of my closest friends, Glenn Hauman and his lovely wife, Brandy, posted the invitation for fraudulent first-encounter tales in their status updates, and these are the flights of fancy I fabricated for them.


GLENN’S TALE

You had just stepped off the stage at Pedro’s Bijou after receiving a standing ovation for your matinee performance, and I stopped you so I could shake your hand. “That was amazing,” I said.

“Well, thank you. You wouldn’t happen to have a spare Pepsi, would you?” I fished an ice-cold can from the mini cooler under my seat and handed it to you. As you popped the tab, you sighed. “Gracias.”

In awe, I watched you guzzle the entire can in one pour, and then you ate the can. “So, you’re a method actor.”

You nodded as you finished chewing. “Yup.”

“Well, I have to admit, that was amazing. Until tonight, I’d never have believed a man could take the place of a donkey in one of these shows.”

Shrugging with feigned modesty, you replied, “Well, I’ve been his understudy for years. I just had to wait for him to get sick.”

“With what?”

“Hoof-in-mouth.”

My brow furrowed with confusion. “Whose mouth?”

“Carmelita’s.  She bit down and refused to let go.”

You started to leave, so I followed you out into the teeming, sewage-stinking streets of Tijuana. “Where you headed?”

“Terceira Axila. An after-hours club on Via Barranca. All-you-can-drink two-dollar pitchers of Chango.”

“Isn’t Chango just bottled piss?”

“Yeah, but it’s all you can drink for two bucks.”

I nodded. “When you say it like that, I guess it is a bargain.” A stray thought skittered through my consciousness. “Do they have a show?”

“Best in Tijuana. If you like orangutans, that is.” You glanced my way. “But we’d better get you a poncho. I’ve got front-row seats, and it gets messy.”

And with those words, I had a new best friend.


BRANDY’S TALE

I knocked on your door and stood on your back porch, shivering like a monkey fresh from the sea.

It seemed an eternity before you opened the door. I admired your mint-condition, vintage 1950s French Navy frogman wetsuit, accessorized with a strap-on rubber phallus. From behind your SCUBA re-breather, you mumbled, “Yebth?”

Lifting my hands, I showed you the police handcuffs that bound my wrists. “Can I borrow a hacksaw?”

You plucked the re-breather from your pouty lips. “Do I know you?”

“Not yet. I’m Dave.”

“Brandy.”

“I’d shake your hand, but…” The cuffs’ chain jangled as I waved my hands.

“Hang on.” You turned away, the flippers on your feet slapping your kitchen floor. “Glenn!” Over your shoulder you added, “My husband should be able to help you with those.”

“Thanks.” An awkward moment stretched out between us while we waited for your Brobdingnagian lummox of a spouse to extricate himself from the upstairs toilet. I offered up a nervous wrinkle of a smile. “What’s with the, um…”

“It’s a sex thing.”

“I figured.”

You pointed to your living room, wherein I caught a glimpse of a children’s wading pool overflowing with $240 worth of pudding and flanked by some Klieg lights and a video camera on a tripod. “Care to come in?”

“Don’t mind if I do.” I followed you inside and shut the door behind me.

You shot a suggestive leer my way. “Mind leaving the cuffs on a bit longer?”

“I don’t see why not.”

An approving nod. “Like pudding?”

“Does Michael Jackson like little boys?”

“I don’t suppose you know how to run a video camera.”

It was a stroke of amazing good fortune. “Are you kidding? I have a degree from NYU Film School.”

“Dave,” you said, wading into the pudding, “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship…”

Mendacious First Meetings

A curious meme making the rounds on Facebook finally found it way last night to me. Here was the text I saw in a few friends’ status updates:

I want you to comment on this status about how you met me, but I want you to lie. That’s right. Just make stuff up. After you comment, copy to your status so I can do the same.

I was intrigued by this notion, as it’s essentially a community challenge in creative writing. I posted a few snippets for friends, and then, when reposting the challenge to my own status, I tweaked the text slightly:

I want you to comment on this status about how you met me, but I want you to lie. That’s right. Just make stuff up. After you comment, copy to your status so I can ignore it and you can feel like we’re socializing.

So far, so good. I’ve even seen a few of my acquaintances propagating my version of the challenge.

This is where it starts to get fun. (more…)

Because I am a lemming…

I have plugged some of my text into the “what famous writer do you write like?” meme generator.  After submitting several pieces and repeatedly getting Dan Brown — a result I was not prepared to live with — I put in a chapter from my novel The Sorrows of Empire and got:

I write like
Margaret Atwood

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

All right. That’s an answer worth posting.

The Song Meme

Snurched from kradical:

1. Post the names of 10 of your favorite musicians.

2. See who can guess which is your favorite song by each.
3. As they are answered, I'll post it.

In no particular order:

  1. Rush — “The Analog Kid”
  2. Pink Floyd — “Your Possible Pasts”
  3. Led Zeppelin — “Since I've Been Lovin' You”
  4. The Who — “Won't Get Fooled Again”
  5. The Rolling Stones — “Brown Sugar”
  6. Rage Against the Machine — “Calm Like a Bomb”
  7. Liz Phair — “Supernova”
  8. U2 — “Hawkmoon 269”
  9. The Donnas — “Take It Off”
  10. AC/DC — “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap”

I wonder who will guess my favorite tracks by each artist? I don't always gravitate to their best-known material…

I've edited this post on January 5, since no on seems to give enough of a damn to guess. Consider yourselves hereby enlightened into my musical trivia.
 

Lords of Kobol

Snurched from tiggerallyn:

1. Put your iPod (or MP3 player, or iTunes) on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag others, if so desired.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
“Go Your Own Way” — Fleetwood Mac, Rumors

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
“Love Removal Machine” — The Cult, Electric

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
“A Man I’ll Never Be” — Boston, Don’t Look Back

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
“In the Flesh” — Blondie, Best of Blondie

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
“Eingeschlossen” — Klaus Doldinger, Das Boot

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
“Wanna Get Some Stuff” — The Donnas, American Teenage Rock ‘n’ Roll Machine

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
“In My Time of Dying” — Led Zeppelin, Physical Graffiti (Disc One)

WHAT IS 2+2?
“Lovesick Blues” — Hank Williams, from the soundtrack of The Shawshank Redemption

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
“Ilia’s Theme” — Jerry Goldsmith, Star Trek: The Motion Picture score

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
“She Blinded Me With Science” — Thomas Dolby

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
“I Can’t Quit You Baby” — Led Zeppelin, Coda

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
“The Boogie Bumper” — Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
“I Can’t Get Started” — Lester Young with Oscar Peterson, Lester Young with The Oscar Peterson Orchestra

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
“I Love You Because” — Johnny Cash, The Complete Sun Recordings

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
“Life During Wartime” — Talking Heads

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
“Gently As She Goes” — Robin Wright Penn, Beowulf soundtrack

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
“The 13th Essence” — Simon Rattle, Le Parfum: Histoire d’un Meurtrier soundtrack

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
“The Dirty Jobs” — The Who, Quadrophenia

WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
“Super Dam and Finding Lois” — John Williams, Superman: The Movie

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
“Final Confrontation” — Danny Elfman, Batman

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
“The Faces of His Family” — John Ottman, The Usual Suspects

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
“New Fish” — Thomas Newman, The Shawshank Redemption

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
“Crimson & Clover” — Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
“Pinion – Wish – Last” — Nine Inch Nails, Broken

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
“Yellow Submarine” — The Beatles, Revolver

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
“On the Sunny Side of the Street” — Lester Young with Oscar Peterson, Lester Young with The Oscar Peterson Orchestra

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
“Colonial Anthem” — Bear McCreary, Battlestar Galactica: Season Two

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
“Sunday Morning Coming Down” — Johnny Cash, 16 Biggest Hits

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
“Lords of Kobol” — Bear McCreary, Battlestar Galactica: Season Two