Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Mendacious First Meetings

A curious meme making the rounds on Facebook finally found it way last night to me. Here was the text I saw in a few friends’ status updates:

I want you to comment on this status about how you met me, but I want you to lie. That’s right. Just make stuff up. After you comment, copy to your status so I can do the same.

I was intrigued by this notion, as it’s essentially a community challenge in creative writing. I posted a few snippets for friends, and then, when reposting the challenge to my own status, I tweaked the text slightly:

I want you to comment on this status about how you met me, but I want you to lie. That’s right. Just make stuff up. After you comment, copy to your status so I can ignore it and you can feel like we’re socializing.

So far, so good. I’ve even seen a few of my acquaintances propagating my version of the challenge.

This is where it starts to get fun. (more…)

Star Trek Re-watch: Good Touch vs. Bad Touch

What is “That Which Survives“? A fancy way of describing Twinkies? A documentary about the survival traits of the cockroach? No, it’s a middle-of-the-pack third-season episode of Star Trek, which Dayton Ward and I verbally dissect this week for the tor.com Star Trek Re-watch.

She just needs to touch you, but be warned—it’ll be a bad touch.

As always, please leave all comments on the Tor.com article, so that it’ll look as if someone gives a damn about what a pair of fat-assed writers think of a 42-year-old television episode.

Join us next week when we get blinded by “The Lights of Zetar.” Till then, The Mack Abides.

Low marks for “The Mark of Gideon”

I’ve been so busy today checking the digital copyedit on my upcoming Star Trek Vanguard novella “The Stars Look Down” that I nearly forgot to pimp this week’s Star Trek Re-watch column on Tor.com.

Today, the indefatigable Dayton Ward and I give low marks to “The Mark of Gideon,” a third-season Star Trek episode that’s all about overpopulation, skewed priorities, and flawed premises.

All I can say is that all of you out there should be very happy that Dayton and I watched this episode, because now you never have to. As always, please leave all comments on the Tor.com article. It creates the illusion for our editors that our blogging fees aren’t just money down a rat hole.

But wait, there’s more! Leave a comment on this thread by noon on Friday 1/21 EST for a chance to win a copy of Dayton’s new Star Trek: Typhon Pact novel, Paths of Disharmony.

Boo-yah.

That’s my rhyme. Catch y’all on the bounce next week when Dayton and I figure out whether “That Which Survives” is also that which sucks.

The Last Word on “…Your Last Battlefield”

Ugh. Is it really Thursday? Again? Yup, afraid so. Well, if I have to cope with it, so do you.

You know the drill: It is the day of Thor, god of thunder, so Dayton Ward and I present to you our latest pile of drivel: a recap and analysis of the third-season original series Star Trek episode “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield,” brought to you by the fine folks at Tor.com.

Ever bought a black-and-white cookie at a deli, bitten into it, and found out only then that it was stale? Well, this is kind of like that, except the taste lasts for 50 minutes.

As long as you’re online, catch up on our recaps-and-analyses of third-season Star Trek with this handy index:

  1. Spock’s Brain
  2. The Enterprise Incident
  3. The Paradise Syndrome
  4. And the Children Shall Lead
  5. Is There in Truth No Beauty?
  6. Spectre of the Gun
  7. Day of the Dove
  8. For the World Is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky
  9. The Tholian Web
  10. Plato’s Stepchildren
  11. Wink of an Eye
  12. The Empath
  13. Elaan of Troyius
  14. Whom Gods Destroy

Please leave all comments at the Tor.com article. It makes them feel needed.

If this doesn’t permanently sour your appetite for all things Star Trek, we’ll see you again next week for “The Mark of Gideon.” That ought to do it.

Word to your Vulcan.

Whom Gods Destroy, They First Re-watch

Heavens help us, it’s Thursday again, and that can mean only one thing: another installment of TOR.COM‘s infamous Star Trek Re-watch has escaped its cage and gone rampaging around the intertubes. This week’s episode: “Whom Gods Destroy.”

So far on our nostalgia tour through Star Trek‘s third season, my cohort Dayton Ward and I have revised our opinions of some episodes that frequently are maligned. This, alas, is not one of those episodes.

Re-watch this one if you like, but we’d advise you to remove any sharp objects from your immediate vicinity before doing so, lest you succumb to an overpowering urge to gouge out your eyeballs and pierce your eardrums.

Meanwhile, catch up on our recaps-and-analyses of third-season Star Trek with this handy index:

  1. Spock’s Brain
  2. The Enterprise Incident
  3. The Paradise Syndrome
  4. And the Children Shall Lead
  5. Is There in Truth No Beauty?
  6. Spectre of the Gun
  7. Day of the Dove
  8. For the World Is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky
  9. The Tholian Web
  10. Plato’s Stepchildren
  11. Wink of an Eye
  12. The Empath
  13. Elaan of Troyius

Please leave some comments on the Tor.com article—it creates the illusion for our masters at Tor.com that anyone gives a damn about these weekly blatherings of ours.

Then mark your calendar and rejoin us next week when we re-watch “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield,” the stale black-and-white cookie of the Star Trek canon!

Peace out.

The ep that launched a thousand snarks

Welcome to yet another Thursday and, with it, another piping-hot installment of the Tor.com weekly column Star Trek Re-watch by yours truly and Dayton Ward. This week, I’m on recap duty, and Dayton’s in charge of analysis.

This week’s episode of interest is “Elaan of Troyius.” Jeez, talked about mixed metaphors: the title references Helen of Troy, the plot is cribbed from Shakespeare’s play The Taming of the Shrew, and the costumes are swiped in equal parts from Antony & Cleopatra and your grandmother’s kitchen.

This is actually kind of a fun episode … but it’s not what one would call one of Star Trek‘s more “enlightened” hours of entertainment.

Catch up on our recaps of third-season Star Trek with this handy index:

  1. Spock’s Brain
  2. The Enterprise Incident
  3. The Paradise Syndrome
  4. And the Children Shall Lead
  5. Is There in Truth No Beauty?
  6. Spectre of the Gun
  7. Day of the Dove
  8. For the World Is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky
  9. The Tholian Web
  10. Plato’s Stepchildren
  11. Wink of an Eye
  12. The Empath

Make sure you remember to leave comments on the articles at Tor.com, so that Dayton and I can convince ourselves that this gig isn’t merely an exercise in futility.

Be sure to watch this space next week, when we bring you Dayton’s play-by-play and my color commentary on “Whom Gods Destroy.” (Watch it for free on the CBS website.)

Until then, here’s wishing everyone a very happy, safe, and prosperous New Year!

How I feel about “The Empath”

It’s Thursday, my friends! That means it’s time for yet another installment of Tor.com‘s weekly feature, Star Trek Re-watch, by Dayton Ward and yours truly.

This week’s subject of scrutiny is the third-season episode “The Empath,” in which our heroes wake up in a dark, featureless space with a mute young woman who can sense emotions and heal with a touch.

This intriguing episode held up even better than I had remembered. Stylishly directed and photographed, smartly written, and beautifully played by everyone involved, this is a thought-provoking and moving hour of Star Trek.

Of course, that didn’t stop Dayton and me from making a few jokes at its expense, because … well, because we’re jerks, and that’s what Tor is paying us to do.

If you haven’t seen it in a while, watch “The Empath” now for free on the CBS website. A story of love, empathy, and sacrifice, it’s a good Star Trek story to watch right before Christmas (except for the whole torture and bondage aspect, which probably would have been a better fit with Easter).

If you’ve got time to spare while waiting for your egg to nog, take a gander at my and Dayton’s previous Re-watch entries:

  1. Spock’s Brain
  2. The Enterprise Incident
  3. The Paradise Syndrome
  4. And the Children Shall Lead
  5. Is There in Truth No Beauty?
  6. Spectre of the Gun
  7. Day of the Dove
  8. For the World Is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky
  9. The Tholian Web
  10. Plato’s Stepchildren
  11. Wink of an Eye

As always, please leave comments on the Tor.com article, to let us know we’re not just hurling electrons into the ether without purpose. Until next week, a joyous holiday season to one and all!