First: I had no idea that Liquid Plumr could “go bad.”

For two days my wife and I have been trying in vain to unclog the shower drain in our apartment. I had all but resigned myself to calling a plumber tomorrow when, as we were emptying the last dregs of the Liquid Plumr into the drain, thick clumps of semisolid white gunk oozed out of the bottle.

“That doesn’t look right,” I said to Kara. She agreed. Fortunately, we had recently purchased a new jug of Drano, so we tried that. Five minutes later, the drain was running perfectly.

I knew milk and orange juice and eggs had shelf lives. But drain clog remover? Learn something new every day.

Second: At my wife’s suggestion, we recently recorded on our DVR the movie Martian Child, starring John Cusack, Joan Cusack, Amanda Peet, and Oliver Platt. She sold me on watching this film by describing it to me as, “A science-fiction novelist adopts a boy who thinks he’s a Martian.” Definitely in my wheelhouse, sure.

So it turns out the sci-fi author in the film is named David. And he has a sweet elderly pet. And childhood memories of being treated like a weirdo by his peers. And having recently lost his beloved wife, he decides to follow through on their plan to adopt a child.

This movie wasn’t the greatest bit of cinema I’ve ever seen, but it felt as if it had been tailor-made to push my buttons and make me use up half a box of Kleenex. And now Kara and I are calling both of our cats “flomar,” which apparently is Martian for “warm, furry friend.”

There endeth today’s update.