Reflections and Resolutions
New Years seem to me to be a lot like milestone birthdays. We invest them with a lot of meaning and anticipation. Rarely does the day mark any kind of significant change aside from what we write on our checks.
I wish that I could say I was excited about this year to come, but my optimism is dulled by experience and doubt.
Will the new presidential administration bring real change to how our country runs and treats its people? Maybe, but only if we all hold it accountable and watch them with a critical eye. Barack Obama is a very good politician. Soon we shall see whether he has what it takes to be a true statesman.
Will my decision to abandon my full-time day job last summer bear fruit this year? Maybe, but only if I can get better at managing my time and focusing my energies. Too many times in recent months have I succumbed to depression, distraction, and sloth. I can make this work, but that’s the key word here: WORK.
Will I be able to convince myself that turning 40 is no big deal? Maybe, but I am confronted by all the things I wanted to have accomplished by this point in my life but which remain resolutely undone: No house. No children. No financial security.
Yes, yes, I know. I should be grateful for the wonders with which life has seen fit to bless me: my wife, Kara; my adorable cats; my writing career, such as it is so far; my relatively intact health; my friends and my family. And these are all joys to be treasured and to feel thankful for.
So begins 2009. Time to get on with it, I guess.
RESOLVED: To write another original novel that my agent can try to sell.
RESOLVED: To find something, anything, worth being glad for every day.
RESOLVED: To use the freedom I’ve given myself to exercise a little bit each day.
RESOLVED: To remember that not every thought in my head should be expressed.
It’s a start. To work, then.