In what is rapidly becoming a hybrid of an endurance test and a form of self-abuse, Dayton Ward and I bring you another installment of the Star Trek Re-watch on tor.com. This week Dayton handles the play-by-play recap and I break out the long knives of critical analysis for the third-season episode “The Lights of Zetar.”

If psychedelic light shows without music, static “action” sequences, and nonsensical solutions are what you crave, you can call off the dogs—we’ve found all that and less in this week’s 50-minute soporific from Desilu Productions.

The fine print: leave your comments, praise, and insults on the Tor.com article, as no one is likely to ever see them here. Then join us again next week as we review the tale of a man who has lived for centuries, adopting many different identites while looking out for humanity. Sadly, we’re not reviewing Highlander but “Requiem for Methusaleh,” and hoping it doesn’t make us grab swords and cut off our own heads in fits of depression.

Hasta la pasta, kids.